Sometimes I find it hard to keep up with myself… one second I am thinking about how I don’t understand racism, or how to help solve worldly problems… and then the next second I’m thinking about how I’d like to poop in the back tank of the toilet… when I finally get to leave this job that hates me just as much as I dislike it. I say dislike… because I don’t believe that I contain the proper mechanisms to hate. Anyway… my point is I spend large portions of most days contemplating every facet of the leaps and bounds that we call life.
Growing up I asked questions about everything… to anyone that was willing to answer. I remember, very vividly… being asked many times if I ever stop talking, or asking questions. In my younger years, it was because I was genuinely interested and wanted to learn. In later years I usually already had my answer… but would ask to see how others felt about something. Also, probably looking to reaffirm what I already felt.
As I got older, I stopped asking questions. I seemed to come to this conclusion that most people, even if they had no idea… would still ramble on… trading fact for opinion… happily gnawing at the opportunity to hear themselves talk.
Today it’s worse than ever… we can search the answer to anything… and the problem is not that in itself. The problem is that the people searching rarely take the time to sort through the misconstrued information to find the true facts. Not to mention the above folks that choose opinion over fact and love to flex there knowledge muscles… or lack there of… spreading misinformation like a bad rash.
We have become a society that knows everything… not from experience… rather, from what other people tell us… or what we’ve read… or heard from some third party. Even more… we have become belligerently naive… sucking up every drop… fully entrusted in the purity unto that which we ingest.
Why is it so easy for us to find solace in what other people think, or believe to be true… but so hard to have faith in our own instincts? Even the most closed minded of us… are born with this amazing gift called… intuition. So why do we need people to tell us, when 99% of the time we already know the answer?
It’s because from the day we are born, we are taught to ignore what we feel… and instead do what is viewed to be normal, or right. We are programmed… so that we can survive in a system. We learn to suck it up… put aside what we feel… and do it… because that’s what everyone does… and always has done. When we speak up… we are labeled trouble… when we are different… we are labeled weird. Even diagnosed mentally ill or learning disabled.
“You can’t beat the system” words of my father, that have for decades bounced around in the back of my mind. Now I’m a father… and if I were to die tomorrow, I’d leave him this… It is ok not to know all the answers… but it is never ok to believe that you do. If it calls to you, search it out… and don’t accept anything but that which helps you to understand it from many different perspectives. Follow your heart and be who you are at all costs… unlike most of life’s stings… regret only gets worse with time. Everything that you need, to get where you’re going… is already within you. Ask questions… and always consider the source.